Posts
The best smart locks for securing your home
43 minutes ago
Friday, April 30, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Online Books, Poems, Short Stories - Read Print Library - StumbleUpon
Online Books, Poems, Short Stories - Read Print Library - StumbleUponJust read a very thoughtful essay on Gahdhi that was written by George Orwell
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Novelsmithing
I think this guy is self published, but I wish some publisher would pick him up. He has clear advice but with depth and heart. I love his stuff.
Day Seven
Seventh day of not smoking. I like this new way of life. Less Expensive. Less Smelly. Better Lung Capacity. More time left to do some actual work. What is there to complain about. I'll just set $70 on fire if I get that desperate.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
YouTube - Lisa Scottoline: 2009 National Book Festival
YouTube - Lisa Scottoline: 2009 National Book Festival Hilarious. I would love to be mentored by her right after reading all her books.
Day Six of Not Smoking
Woke up this morning at 5 and dressed down to my shoes and combed my hair so I could go get some cigarettes. Came downstairs and chewed gum instead because the house smells so much better, and i don't smell like a cold ashtray. Yeah me!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Curbing the toungue
I am a lethal assassin with my tongue. I really am, and God si really chastising me for it. None of us deserve grace, as he mentioned to me for judging my husband. He is God's business, and only God knows if we are really to sick for each other and that destructive or just that lazy and slothful. This flies in the face of all common sense.
Pryaing.
Pryaing.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Steps
I am doing a fourth step inventory on my marriage, my side, of all the fears and resentments and actions I have taken that were detrimental or are detrimental to my marriage, attitudes of the heart that made me like the woman in Proverbs who pulled down her house around her head. I must admit, it is extremely difficult to leave his side alone. Very hard. Just to do mine, and to walk away from my marriage without rancor or malice.
I do say a few goading things, and I hope I can let those go. We have held each other hostage for far too long, though we love each other. We hook each other back into the same old arguments and habits. It is as hard as quitting drinking was. Which is why I have to walk away, all I have left is the destructive feelings, and he doesn't deserve that anymore than I do. I want to be able to bless him in my heart, to wish him all the best. I just don't think I am it.
All this rancor is severely affecting my health, so I need to quit. I don't think it is helping his health either. I think we both eat our way through our anger, and soothe it with too much TV and apathetic lethargy, or sloth. Here I am confessing for both of us instead of just myself.
So be it, it will get better the more I work on the fourth step. It is called, cleaning up my side of the street. The amount of food and junk we have is evidence of how much anger w3e buried under stuff and food, under sopping to deal with the feelings - contemporary shopping therapy, almost in it's way as bad as my alcoholism was when I was practicing. I hope to recover from it all.
I do say a few goading things, and I hope I can let those go. We have held each other hostage for far too long, though we love each other. We hook each other back into the same old arguments and habits. It is as hard as quitting drinking was. Which is why I have to walk away, all I have left is the destructive feelings, and he doesn't deserve that anymore than I do. I want to be able to bless him in my heart, to wish him all the best. I just don't think I am it.
All this rancor is severely affecting my health, so I need to quit. I don't think it is helping his health either. I think we both eat our way through our anger, and soothe it with too much TV and apathetic lethargy, or sloth. Here I am confessing for both of us instead of just myself.
So be it, it will get better the more I work on the fourth step. It is called, cleaning up my side of the street. The amount of food and junk we have is evidence of how much anger w3e buried under stuff and food, under sopping to deal with the feelings - contemporary shopping therapy, almost in it's way as bad as my alcoholism was when I was practicing. I hope to recover from it all.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Dissolving
Haven't updated much. Have been in limbo, stasis, the place where change is so slow you can't even feel yourself moving.
Had a go to Jesus meeting with myself, and pushed through it just like I would have to if I started excersizing again.Dissolving a 25 year marriage, and it is as painful as losing a job or losing a family member to cancer. What is cancerous is our attitudes and stalemates, and it has progressed so far that there is hardly anything healthy left. I heard that a broken heart is just a tantrum thrown on the doorstep of someones soul because you didn't get what you wanted and thought you deserved. I think we have just hel each other hostage, and we just need to let go and walk away, like it was a tennis game and we don't hit the ball back or even serve it (knowing how the other player would react - but simply walk off the court. God forgive us both for the way we have treated each other and all the friends and family we drug through it with us.
Had a go to Jesus meeting with myself, and pushed through it just like I would have to if I started excersizing again.Dissolving a 25 year marriage, and it is as painful as losing a job or losing a family member to cancer. What is cancerous is our attitudes and stalemates, and it has progressed so far that there is hardly anything healthy left. I heard that a broken heart is just a tantrum thrown on the doorstep of someones soul because you didn't get what you wanted and thought you deserved. I think we have just hel each other hostage, and we just need to let go and walk away, like it was a tennis game and we don't hit the ball back or even serve it (knowing how the other player would react - but simply walk off the court. God forgive us both for the way we have treated each other and all the friends and family we drug through it with us.
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