Dissolving

Haven't updated much.  Have been in limbo, stasis, the place where change is so slow you can't even feel yourself moving.

Had a go to Jesus meeting with myself, and pushed through it just like I would have to if I started excersizing again.Dissolving a 25 year marriage, and it is as painful as losing a job or losing a family member to cancer.  What is cancerous is our attitudes and stalemates, and it has progressed so far that there is hardly anything healthy left.  I heard that a broken heart is just a tantrum thrown on the doorstep of someones soul because you didn't get what you wanted and thought you deserved.  I think we have just hel each other hostage, and we just need to let go and walk away, like it was a tennis game and we don't hit the ball back or even serve it (knowing how the other player would react - but simply walk off the court.  God forgive us both for the way we have treated each other and all the friends and family we drug through it with us.